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Dear Yeshiva Family:
This week's parshah contains the dreaded tochachah -the Admonition, a list of curses that befall Klal Yisrael if they do not follow the Torah. These punishments are enough to scare anyone, but they must be taken in context. The last pesukim of the Tochacha (26:44-45) read "but despite all of this, while they will be in the land of their enemies, I will not have been revolted by them, nor will I have rejected them to obliterate them, to annul my covenant with them – for I am Hashem, their God. I will remember for them the covenant of the ancients, those whom I have taken out of the land of Egypt before the eyes of the nations, to be God unto them – I am Hashem." This means that Hashem is telling us that even when we are being punished, in the midst of the tochacha, there is still a limit to the punishment, and the reason for that is because there is a purpose to the punishment. This is not a vengeance with no purpose. This is a punishment that a father does to his child, and while it certainly stings, it is still coming from a place of love. Obliterating us would defeat the purpose of the punishments. The entire set of curses are there to goad us into repentance and reform.
As the Gemara in Kiddushin (36a) states, "Whether we are acting properly or not, we are still like children to Hashem."
Perhaps as an allusion to this, immediately after the tochacha, the Torah teaches us the laws of Eiruchin. These laws discuss someone who vows to contribute to the Bais Hamikdash the inherent value of oneself, or that of another human being; perhaps we can say it is the value of the soul! This is an unusual donation, for the value of one's soul does not have a market value. Since this is not a measurable value, the Torah assigns a specific amount, and as the Mishnah in Arachin (3:1) states, the value is dependent solely on the person's age and gender, not on any other value or quality.
One can ask, why does the topic of eiruchin – vows, follow the tochacha? Perhaps the message of the eiruchin vow is the inherent and intrinsic goodness of each person. One's intrinsic value does not depend on their outer beauty or strength, nor does it depend on one's level of scholarship, middos or earning capacity. All Jews have the same core, and whether a person is currently good or bad, rich or poor, aesthetically beautiful or not, our core is the always the same. Perhaps right after we are informed of the punishments, we need to be 'comforted' by the thought that no matter what happens, we are still loved by Hashem, for our core is still the core of a Jew. Hashem did not and will not throw us away. Our core cannot be changed, and that is still worth the same value as the near perfect person. This is a comforting thought that can help us rebound from retribution towards building on that beautiful core.
Sometimes people react negatively to getting a punishment, or not having things go their way. They get upset. Someone davens for months on end for something they desperately want or need, and it does not work out. That person may feel upset or even angry at Hashem, chas veshalom (G-d forbid). They feel rejected or spurned by Hashem. Firstly, let us clarify that such feelings do not show a severe lack of emunah. After feeling angry, some people have a gnawing feeling of uneasiness; perhaps this means they don't believe in Hashem. However, getting angry at Hashem is actually a sign of emunah. If someone were to not believe, then there is no one to get angry at. Yes, one can increase their emunah to the point that they believe that everything Hashem does is for the good, and increase it to even feeling that way when the goings are tough, but a basic level of emunah needs to preexist for one to be angry at Hashem.
In fact, the Gemara (Bava Basra 16b) states that if one is in pain or suffers misfortune, and he gets angry, hurt or frustrated and speaks negatively to or about Hashem, he is not taken to task for this!
The reason for this is because it is the natural reaction of someone who gets a punishment to defend himself. Only after he settles down, and gets over the personal hit to his ego that he was punished against his will, can he logically look back and accept his fate.
Imagine someone receiving a $250 speeding ticket who then rages against the police, the mayor, the city, etc. If we asked him if he was in favor of removing all punishments for speeding, or even "defunding the police," when he thinks logically, he would say that's not a good idea. So maybe just speed warnings? He would say that's ineffective. OK, how about a fine so steep no one would ever speed again - say $1,000? Too harsh. Ok, so how about a $250 ticket? He would probably then agree that seems like a fair middle ground that is not too harsh and which prompts people to take speeding seriously. When emotions peter out and logic descends from your brain to your heart, one can think clearly and feel whole again.
The same thing is with Hashem. If one "blames" Hashem for his misfortune then he is correct. Hashem did cause that to happen. For an average person, the initial thought includes some level of anger (even if that is immature) because things did not go his way and he was "put in his place." Since this is a natural part of the being human, one is not faulted for those initial feelings. However, our job is to set those emotions aside. They are natural and one is not responsible for things said towards Hashem when those feelings are raging, but the job then is to put those emotions aside, overpower them, and use logic to recognize the logic of Hashem, who knows everything, running the world. One only becomes responsible when it is reasonable for him to regain control. Just like we can come to terms with a speeding ticket after our emotions calm down, so too, our job is to channel our logic to overpower our emotions.
There are several ways to help one through a hard time. It certainly helps one to recognize that everything Hashem does is for a reason. Therefore, a negative experience in this world does not even have to necessarily be a 'punishment'. However, even if, for argument's sake, one does view something that occurred to him as a divine punishment for something, as the tochacha threatens, there is still a positive way that it can be looked at, as we mentioned above—to recognize that any punishment comes from a place of love. This is supposed to be a learning experience, and just as one hopes that one day his child will recognize that it was OK, and even helpful for his safety, to be punished for running in the street, for sometimes only through learning the hard way can the message be sent home, so too is Hashem teaching us, and one day we will appreciate everything we have to go through.
May Hashem give us the understanding and wisdom, the serenity and patience to go through life being able to put things in perspective and may we all merit to see a time when punishments will no longer be necessary!
Have a great Shabbos!
Rabbi Moshe Revah Rosh HaYeshiva, HTC - Beis HaMidrash LaTorah moshe.revah@htc.edu | 
