Aneinu Please Daven

Please daven for Kalman Moshe ben Devorah, Rav Kalman Packouz, who is in critical condition Rabbi Kalman Packouz Since 1992, Rabbi Packouz is the author of Shabbat Shalom Weekly, with insights into life, personal growth and Torah.  He transitioned from a Reform Judaism background to a fully Torah-observant life at age 22, via Aish HaTorah, where he was one of the founding five students.  He is co-founder of Aish HaTorah’s first branch, in St. Louis, Missouri and the originator of the Aish Jewish Computer Dating Service -- perhaps the first Jewish computer dating services.  He is also the creator of TheWall.org -- Aish’s webcam on the Western Wall.  The Shabbat Shalom Weekly started with 50 faxes and 50 emails.  Today, it has over 100,000 subscribers and is available in English, Hebrew, Spanish and Portuguese.  A note from Rabbi Packouz please share it:   "GOOD MORNING! Recently, I spent 5 days in the hospital. I don't think that it is ever a pleasant experience -- except perhaps for having a baby (and then again, it is not so pleasant for the mother). One thing you need to get through the hospital experience -- and life -- is to have a sense of humor -- which means seeing the humor wherever you can find it. For instance, I found the Food Service absolutely hilarious. They'd ask me what I'd like to order and I would ask, "What's on the Kosher menu?" "Meatloaf and Mashed potatoes, Salisbury steak and Mashed Potatoes, Roast Turkey and vegetables." I ordered the meatloaf -- "Sorry, we don't have that." OK, I replied, the Salisbury steak -- "Sorry, we don't have that." No problem, I'll have the roast turkey. And sometime after an hour they deliver the chicken dinner. Here's my favorite. I get a call from food services about my order. "Sir, you ordered the chicken soup with a matzoh ball." "No," I responded, "I ordered the vegetable soup." The food service person was adamant! "No. you ordered the chicken soup with a matzoh ball." To which I said, "I really did order the vegetable soup." For the third time and with a very firm and strong insistence, "NO! You ordered the chicken soup with a matzoh ball." At this point, I asked myself, "What are you doing arguing over a bowl of soup?" So, I said, "Yes, what about the chicken soup with the matzoh ball?" The lady replied, "We don't have the chicken soup. Would you like the vegetable soup?? Besides a sense of humor to get through a hospital experience – and life -- there is one more requirement. Always express thanks and appreciation. We are all human beings doing our best (some people are just more limited than others). Encourage others and find things to compliment them that they do well. People respond to appreciation. Anger does not motivate anyone to do their best. It creates resentment and likely a lower level of service. Also, in the end it is you who suffers from getting angry! Just default to finding humor in what's happening ... and I know that can be hard. I have stage 4 prostate cancer. I have very little energy or desire. About the only thing I desire is to make sure my Shabbat Shalom gets out each week. I only tell you this because I have some thoughts to share with you about dealing with people who are faced with serious medical dilemmas (or other life challenges). I am totally good with my health opportunity. I believe in God and that He has an individual plan for me that is for my best -- to come close to Him, to grow, to fulfill my purpose in life. What that plan entails, I await as it unfolds. Whichever direction it goes, I am just thankful. When someone finds out about my cancer they respond "I'm sorry. Please, let me know if there is anything, anything I can do." Heartfelt compassion is deeply appreciated. However, keep it short. Obsessing on the issue and asking for a complete medical history really is oppressive (though well-meant), depressing and depleting of energy. You may ask, "Is there anything that you think I should know or that you want to tell me?" This is a great kindness -- not forcing the sick person to answer questions he'd rather not answer. One man immediately started asking me about his symptoms -- "Do you have this?" "Do you have that?" Really inappropriate. I interrupted him and said, "Please, you can't diagnose yourself by my situation. Go see a doctor." One more thing. Almost every person I run into says, "You're looking good!" That is supposed to be uplifting and encouraging. I think we cancer patients interpret it as "Wow! You should be looking sallow and on the edge of death." It doesn't really feel good. Also, I once heard that there are three stages in life: youth, middle age and you're looking good." Notes are appreciated. Little acts of kindness. A rabbi at the Talmudic University in Miami messaged me that they are having a special learning session in my merit. Very touching!   And if you want to know what you can really do -- pray for the person. A simple, heartfelt request, "Almighty, Master of the Universe, who has given me all good things, please grant a complete and speedy healing to Kalman Moshe ben Devorah" (my name). Your prayers are precious and make a difference. Thank you!"