| Dear Yeshiva Family:
In this weeks' parshah we read the Aseres HaDibros, the Ten Commandments. Among the Aseres HaDibros, the Torah commands us Zachor es Yom HaShabbos Lekadsho – 'Remember the Shabbos, to keep it holy'. The Ramban explains that in this pasuk lies an added element to remembering Shabbos; there is a special mitzvah to remind ourselves and mention the day of Shabbos to make it holy every day of the week! We fulfill this mitzvah daily at the end of Shacharis when we recite the Shir Shel Yom, the daily 'song' which was sung in the Bais HaMikdash, and we introduce it by saying today is "Yom Chamishi Leshabbos" – today is the fifth day towards the upcoming Shabbos. If one ever finds himself in a rush and cannot say the whole Shir Shel Yom, he should at least say this introductory statement, because, according to the Ramban, herein lies a mitzvah min HaTorah!
The Ohr Hachaim HaKadosh writes that the words that we say every Shabbos, "Veshamru bnei Yisrael es HaShabbos La'Asos es HaShabbos" (Shmos 31:16) – "and Bnei Yisrael will observe the Shabbos" – observe comes from the word "shamar," which was used by Yaakov when Yosef told him of his dreams. There (Bereishis 37:11), it says "but his father watched the matter." In that context, the word does not mean that Yaakov was merely watching; rather, it means he was anxiously waiting to see the fulfillment of those dreams. There was an anticipation! That is how one has to be a "shomer Shabbos"—he has to get excited for Shabbos! And according to the Ramban in our Parshah, this "shmirah," or anticipation, should occur every day of the week. That is what it means to truly be a "Shomer Shabbos"!
Another question addressed by the Ohr HaChayim is what is meant by the word "la'Asos" – to "make" the Shabbos. What about Shabbos needs "making"? The Nesivos Shalom explains, using our Ramban above, that if you are Shomer Shabbos throughout the week – if you anticipate Shabbos coming throughout the week - you are 'la'Asos' – you fulfill the mitvzah of making 'Shabbos' throughout the week!
Yet, some people find it hard to appreciate Shabbos. My friend was recently standing in a local bakery on Friday morning and the fellow behind the counter gave a friendly greeting to the lady ahead of him in line. He said to her, "well, I'm looking forward to the day of rest that's coming!" Something must have hit her the wrong way because she responded "day of rest? I hate Shabbos, all I do is work, work, work! I have to set up, serve, and clean up, then my married kids bring me their kids and I have to do Shabbos party… I haven't slept on Shabbos in 21 years!"
How should one change their attitude towards Shabbos, to appreciate the beauty and serenity that is available to us weekly?
Our enjoyment of anything is directly related to our attitude towards it. If someone has a positive attitude and appreciates something, he will enjoy it, and of course, the opposite is true for someone with a negative attitude. If someone is forced at gunpoint to carry heavy boulders, he will shriek in pain from the exertion, come out exhausted and be traumatized for life, whereas if he pays to do that exact same physical exertion at a local gym, he will come out of the exact same strenuous activity feeling charged and energized. It is literally all in the attitude.
To change or improve one's attitude, it is advisable to learn all about Shabbos and its benefits. Reading an enjoyable, easy-to-read English sefer about the beauty of Shabbos or listening to lectures on the topic from great speakers would be a great start to reshaping and improving one's attitude.
Cognitively focusing on the beauty of Shabbos can also be of enormous benefit. One can focus on the positive aspects of the disconnect we can experience from our hectic lives and on the ability to rejuvenate and work on our relationship with Hashem.
The Sefer HaChinuch cites the concept of 'chitzonos meorer es hapnimos' – psychologically speaking, one's outer actions can affect his inner feelings – moods, attitudes and middos. This concept is used to explain why we are not allowed to break the bones of the Korban Pesach; on Pesach night, we are to act like kings, and our actions while we eat affect the way we feel about ourselves. Act like a king and you will feel like a king; act like an animal and you will feel like an animal. On Pesach night we are supposed to be royalty, so we have to act the part. (This should not be confused with showing fake confidence in place of skill and competence simply to fool other people, rather this concept can be used in affecting one's own attitudes about himself and how he views other things.)
Based on this concept, one can increase the excitement he feels for Shabbos by acting with anticipation for Shabbos. Acting excited, counting down to the Shabbos - 3 days left, 2 days left, etc., creates the hype needed which generates real excitement and anticipation. The more preparation one invests in his Shabbos, the more he will feel invested in it and it will mean something to him. This is a by-product of fulfilling the Ramban's dictum of mentioning Shabbos every day. It builds excitement and anticipation and that helps build one's positive attitude towards Shabbos.
Another idea one can do to increase his positive experience regarding Shabbos is to accept Shabbos calmly. We are used to the lady of the house lighting the candles 18 or 20 minutes before Shabbos, but her husband is not always ready along with her. One good idea, which aside from increasing one's appreciation of Shabbos can help shalom bayis tremendously, is for a husband to stand next to his wife while she lights the candles and for the couple to be fully ready to begin Shabbos together. This way, they both enjoy a calm 18 minutes and bring in Shabbos in a dignified way. Such activity requires preparation, and if one were to want to have such a family minhag, he has to prepare for Shabbos earlier, (perhaps by having the table set Thursday night), to be ready for a relaxing Friday afternoon.
May Hashem help us inculcate in ourselves a positive, happy, joyous, and relaxing attitude towards Shabbos!
Rabbi Moshe Revah Rosh HaYeshiva, HTC - Beis HaMidrash LaTorah moshe.revah@htc.edu | 
No comments:
Post a Comment