RABBI LAZER BRODY ON ELUL CASH ONLY

Ronny thinks he’s on top of the world. In his first year out of school, he made a ton of easy money as a day trader. Now, he’s sitting in a French café and orders another espresso and croissant. His eyes swivel from right to left like a tank turret, looking at every skirt that passes by, despite the fact that his new girlfriend, a lanky blond, is sitting next to him. In fact, Ronnie has changed girlfriends this month more than he’s changed his socks. If you check out the number of female’s phone numbers in the memory of his Blackberry 8800, you’ll find that they’re more numerous that the pairs of socks in his underwear drawer. In the back of his mind, Ronny knows that he’s not living his life the way Hashem wants him to. But what the heck? The ground hasn’t opened up under his feet and swallowed him, nor has he been struck with a bolt of lightning. Everything’s OK – business is great, tennis once a week, gym twice a week, golf on Sunday, and a good time almost every night. Ronny’s not going to let some Haredi preach to him. The nerd with the beard and the black hat can barely afford a round-trip bus ticket to his Yeshiva, but Ronny drives a new Audi A4 convertible with a supercharged 2300 CC engine. He feels like a king; he looks in the mirror and tells himself, “Hey, bro – you’re class…” Ronny’s life is a fantasy, a screenplay written by his Evil Inclination.