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Dear Yeshiva Family:
In this week's parshah, the Torah commands us (15:39) not to stray after our eyes, to protect our eyes from gazing inappropriately, something that we can probably say is a primary nisayon, test, of our generation!
In Parshas Vayeitzei (31:3-16), when Yaakov Avinu informed his wives, Rachel and Leah, about Hashem's command to leave the house of their father, Lavan, he first presented a lengthy rationale detailing why it made sense for them to leave. Only afterward did Yaakov mention that indeed Hashem had specifically commanded him to leave. Rachel and Leah answered, agreeing that leaving made sense and only then they added that everything Hashem tells us to do we should do.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter questioned why Yaakov felt the need to justify Hashem's command with logical arguments. Shouldn't Hashem's command alone suffice for Yaakov Avinu? Rabbi Yisrael explains that when facing Hashem's commandments, one should minimize the challenge (nisayon) involved. Understanding the personal benefits of a commandment can reduce the difficulty of obeying it. Yaakov attempted to ease Rachel and Leah's transition away from their father's influence by emphasizing the practical reasons for leaving his household.
Similarly, in our times, we must search to identify how to derive personal benefits from performing the mitzvos, beyond their intrinsic value and reward from Hashem. Observing Shabbos, for instance, provides valuable family time and a break from technology. Joining a minyan and davening there daily fosters community and strengthens one's societal ties. Many mitzvos enhance our quality of life in this world. Recognizing these benefits can bolster our commitment when faced with challenges.
Regarding the mitzvah of shemiras einayim, guarding one's eyes from inappropriate sights, there are many benefits to think about which can help one in the performance of this mitzvah, so that when the going gets tough one can think about these added benefits and that may help in the struggle.
One advantage maintaining a "purity of eyes" delivers is that one does not walk around with constant unfulfilled desires. People who constantly look around uninhibited, consuming every "eye-candy" available, engage and entice themselves to desires never to be fulfilled. This will set them up to feel perpetually dissatisfied, unsettled, and usually unsure of the source of their discontent.
The Gemara in Beitzah (16a) states that one's income and livelihood for the year is determined on Rosh Hashana. Rebbe Pinchas Koritzer (1725-1791) extends this concept beyond monetary income, explaining that all the pleasures a person is supposed to get are also predetermined and one cannot go over his allotted measure of pleasure. This means that if someone is allotted, for example 10 units of pleasure from food, then he can be rest assured he will be granted the opportunity to receive that amount of pleasure; however, if he takes that pleasure illicitly, and attempts to take what has not been predetermined for him, then he will no longer be able to gain that level of pleasure from the legal sources intended for him.
This concept can be sourced in the Chovos Halevovos as well. The Chovos HaLevovos in Shaar HaBitachon states that sometimes a person can receive money that is not intended for him, and he will just bank the money until it is used by someone else it was meant for, while he does not gain any pleasure from it. We see this concept that pleasure itself is subject to Hashem's allowance for each person.
We can use this idea as a tool when combatting the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, as Yaakov Avinu justified his petition to his wives to leave Lavan's house. When attempting to convince one's yetzer hara not to look at something, a bargaining chip that can be used is to recognize that if someone does enjoy a "stolen pleasure," this may jeopardize legitimate future pleasures. This should give one more internal strength to be able to fight desires and resist temptation.
Along these same lines from a more practical perspective, we can explain that appreciating beauty is a natural aspect of human nature. This is a gift that can immensely benefit one's shalom bayis, or marital harmony. Of course, true shalom bayis is based on a husband and wife having mutual respect and appreciation for each other, beyond physical attraction, valuing and cherishing each other intellectually and emotionally rather than just physically. Nevertheless, there is no denying that desire is a natural phenomenon that can fuel passions and direct natural energy to appreciating one's spouse more. To be physically attracted to one's spouse is a special gift which can help one's passion levels in the overall marriage, in the deeper relationship between them. It's crucial to direct these natural drives towards one's spouse, preventing external distractions from eroding marital bonds.
One common problem that exists with one who is not careful with his eyes is that one becomes "'used to"' his wife's beauty and the yetzer hara then attempts to use this power of lust to attract a person to other people. However, we have to understand that lust is a natural drive that exists in people, and it requires an object to settle on. If someone does not give his internal drives any other choices then ultimately his drive will be channeled onto the only object available. This will then put all the passion that the powers of lust can muster and direct it toward one's spouse, exponentially increasing one's Shalom Bayis. These are strategies one can employ with the yetzer hara when dealing with the challenge of maintaining purity in a world filled with distractions! Hashem should help us keep our eyes clean from outside influences and maintain the highest levels of passion and respect in our marriages helping us enjoy true marital harmony!
Have a great Shabbos!
Rabbi Moshe Revah Rosh HaYeshiva, HTC - Beis HaMidrash LaTorah moshe.revah@htc.edu | 
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