The Navi Yechezkel, relating to the special Torah reading about the Parah Adumah, the red heifer, describes the purification of Bnei Yisrael, וְזָרַקְתִּ֧י עֲלֵיכֶ֛ם מַ֥יִם טְהוֹרִ֖ים וּטְהַרְתֶּ֑ם מִכֹּ֧ל טֻמְאוֹתֵיכֶ֛ם וּמִכׇּל־גִּלּ֥וּלֵיכֶ֖ם אֲטַהֵ֥ר אֶתְכֶֽם׃, I will sprinkle purifying waters upon you, and you shall be cleansed (Yechezkel 36:25). This vision of renewal offers hope, demonstrating that even after failure, one can achieve purity and restoration. Yet, an important question arises: What mindset allows one to truly embrace this transformation?
In describing the process of repentance, Yechezkel states: וּזְכַרְתֶּם֙ אֶת־דַּרְכֵיכֶ֣ם הָרָעִ֔ים וּמַעַלְלֵיכֶ֖ם אֲשֶׁ֣ר לֹֽא־טוֹבִ֑ים וּנְקֹֽטֹתֶם֙ בִּפְנֵיכֶ֔ם עַ֚ל עֲוֺנֹ֣תֵיכֶ֔ם וְעַ֖ל תּוֹעֲבוֹתֵיכֶֽם, And you shall remember your ways… and you shall loathe yourselves because of your sins and abominations" (Yechezkel 36:31). This posuk suggests that part of the process of teshuvah is acknowledging one's past misdeeds, yet it also raises a psychological challenge. Can self-loathing ever be constructive? How does one balance the recognition of past mistakes without becoming trapped in self-deprecation?
The Gemara (Yoma 86b) discusses whether one should continue confessing past sins year after year. If teshuvah is done me-ahavah (out of love), sins are transformed into merits, and there is no need to revisit them. If teshuvah is done mi-yirah (out of fear), sins are merely downgraded to shgagot (unintentional errors), requiring further confession. This distinction highlights an essential concept: dwelling on past mistakes can either uplift or hinder a person, depending on their approach.
Psychological research supports this idea. Studies show that excessive self-criticism can lead to anxiety and stagnation, while self-compassion fosters growth and resilience. When people believe they are inherently flawed, they are less likely to take proactive steps toward improvement. In contrast, those who view mistakes as opportunities for learning and transformation are more likely to progress.
In his sefer Ahavas Yonason, Rav Yonason Eibschutz posits that this is why self-loathing—if it remains an end in itself—can be dangerous. The goal of remembering one's sins is not to dwell in shame, but to move forward. Yechezkel preempts self-reproach by first presenting Hashem's promise of renewal: וְנָתַתִּ֤י לָכֶם֙ לֵ֣ב חָדָ֔שׁ וְר֥וּחַ חֲדָשָׁ֖ה אֶתֵּ֣ן בְּקִרְבְּכֶ֑ם וַהֲסִ֨רֹתִ֜י אֶת־לֵ֤ב הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ מִבְּשַׂרְכֶ֔ם וְנָתַתִּ֥י לָכֶ֖ם לֵ֥ב בָּשָֽׂר, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you" (36:26). This mindset of change assures constructive guilt, fostering the ideal form of teshuvah me-ahavah.
As we read this Haftorah, we are reminded that Hashem's cleansing waters are not just external; they require an internal shift. The healthiest form of teshuvah is not driven by fear and self-judgment, but by a belief in one's ability to change. Like the Parah Adumah, purity is not about erasing the past, but about transcending it.
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