Dear Yeshiva Family:
In this week's parshah, the Torah lists the blessings that happen to a person if he follows the Torah and keeps the mitzvos. The pasuk (28:2) states: "All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you, if you listen to the voice of Hashem, your G-d."
What does the Torah mean with the added phrase that the blessings will overtake you"? Many explanations are offered by the commentaries, but it is worth hearing one of the classic explanations again, for its message never grows old.
There are many times that one is given a blessing, and it goes unappreciated, as he does not value what he has. Our sages tell us (Medrash Koheles Rabbah 1:13) that if someone has one hundred dollars, he wants two hundred. If someone gets two hundred, he wants four hundred. Generally speaking, human nature is to be unsatisfied with what one has, and we are wired to always yearn for more. The more we acquire, the greater our imagination expands and our goals become bigger. If I can already make 400, then perhaps, I'll go for 800! The Medrash also says that a person does not die with even half of his desires fulfilled. How does that align with this first statement which declares that one always wants only double what he currently has? Apparently, this first statement of wanting two hundred is to be understood that if you have one hundred you want another two hundred, for a total of three hundred, so one does not even own half of what he wants. And as soon as one gets more, his appetite for more grows along with his possessions, and it turns out he is perpetually unhappy with them.
However, this is not inevitable, for a person can train himself to appreciate what he has. Indeed, the Gemara says that one of the berachos, or blessings, for fulfilling the mitzvah of ma'aser - giving a tenth of one's earnings to charity - is that one will "wear out his lips from saying 'enough'." How can anyone say 'enough' if, by nature, the more you have, the more you want? It must be that this tendency is possible to overcome, and this concept that a person always wants more refers to an untrained person who has not cultivated the ability to be satisfied with his lot; and that it is possible to be satisfied with what one has, by fulfilling the Mishnah's words (Avos 4:1), "Who is a rich man? He who is satisfied with his lot."
Wealth is subjective. Even someone with modest means today enjoys a level of comfort unheard of just a few centuries ago. Indoor plumbing, access to medicine, information and electricity were not even to be had by the wealthiest people! Even if one drives a used car, it is much better than a horse and buggy! Relative to people who lived not that long ago, we are all wealthy! If we define wealth by how little a person needs to feel they are not lacking, the wealthiest can actually be the poorest. Someone with one billion dollars who did not cultivate the ability to be happy with what he has, craves and requires two billion to be satisfied, whereas someone with nary a nickel only needs a dime to be satisfied even if he also does not know how to be satisfied with what he has!
Many times, we are sitting on riches and just do not recognize what we have. Stories abound of people who sold Renoirs at a garage sale, paintings worth millions of dollars for mere pennies, for they did not recognize the value of what they had. Someone once even found one of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence at a garage sale. This means a person had a blessing, a piece of art or history worth millions, but did not appreciate what he owned. There was a famous Washington Post experiment where they staged the world-famous virtuoso Joshua Bell with a three and a half million-dollar violin in a subway station and recorded hundreds of people passing him without appreciating his music. Many times, beracha is in our own backyard but we fail to see it.
This lesson is deeply relevant to all of us. Our lives are filled with blessings we often overlook. For instance, there is a family of 12 from Bnei Brak who had to relocate to Chicago because one of their children needed a heart transplant, which could only be performed here. They were told they would need to stay for nearly two years to ensure the surgery's success. Imagine the upheaval—moving an entire family to a foreign country for the sake of one child. When we reflect on our own children, spouses, and even ourselves, and realize that we don't have to go through such an ordeal for a healthy heart, we should recognize how amazing life is and how blessed we are. The ability to play or do homework with our children, to say "thank you" to a dedicated spouse, to look in the mirror and see a healthy, living person—these are priceless gifts we already possess. Recognizing this is the real gift, that is what it states in this week's parshah – "and the blessings will overtake you". You will feel happy with the gifts that you already have. The very fact that you can read this is room to give thanks and you will feel it.
I'll never forget the first time the Powerball jackpot surpassed a billion dollars. A friend of mine bought several tickets for our kollel. To our shock, my dear friend R' Mandelbaum ripped up his ticket in front of us. "Are you crazy?" we exclaimed, "You could've won a billion dollars!" He smiled and asked, "Are you happy with your life right now?" We all answered, "Yes." He replied, "We know that if you win, your life will change, and since you're already happy, any change can only be for the worse. So why would I want the ticket?" Argumentum finitum!
This problem can especially occur for those who have a skewed view of reality. One of the many pitfalls that can happen to a person who is not careful at or who they look at is that he may no longer appreciate his spouse. A person can look at different advertisements or movies of photoshopped actors and actresses or watch different versions of what "real life" is and imagine that this is what real life is supposed to be, and then not appreciate their real-life spouse who might very well be amazing, for he always imagined better. I tell people to imagine that at 18 years old a person receives a free Toyota Camry. That would be pretty amazing. However, if his entire life his only exposure to driving was in video games, driving million dollar cars through city streets and sidewalks, at 300 MPH with no repercussions for knocking over people or slamming into concrete walls (except that you have to pay another 25 cents), then getting that Camry will not be exciting. This is true about spouses as well. Focusing on the good aspects of the reality that you have, and not on the fantasy offered by the fake media world, would exponentially increase one's happiness and overall quality of life. One of the most powerful ads I've seen was from Bonei Olam, an organization supporting couples with infertility. The ad was mostly blank, with a single line in the center: "It's hard to get up in the middle of the night for your kids." Underneath, it read: "It's harder not to." Yes, we get used to life. We get used to our spouses and our children and our homes. But we must stop often to recognize all the good that we have so that the beracha in our lives will truly overtake us.
Elul is specifically a time for reconnecting to Hashem. This relationship is invaluable. This is another gift that goes under the radar. May Hashem help us utilize all of the incredible good in our lives to help us appreciate this beautiful world.
Have a great Shabbos!
Rabbi Moshe Revah Rosh HaYeshiva, HTC - Beis HaMidrash LaTorah moshe.revah@htc.edu |
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