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Like Waves in the Ocean
 I don't know about you, but there is a quintessential age in which I discovered every Jewish holiday's essence. I discovered Chanukah as a child through the excitement of presents, beauty of the lights, and innocence that allowed me to believe that playing with a dreidel was actually fun. Similarly, Passover was easy to fall in love with as a child. Without the responsibilities of cleaning a house and buying matzah, it was a night where I was finally the center of attention – while still possessing that same innocence that allowed me to believe stealing the afikomen was also fun. Other holidays were discovered during adulthood. Purim, as I have written, was a celebration I first connected with in my twenties. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur similarly benefit from a maturity, patience, and discipline that is only acquired during adulthood. What, then, is the holiday of the teenage years? I submit that it is Tisha b'Av, the day where we mourn the destruction of our Temples, the Beis HaMikdash.
I suspect I am not alone in feeling that the most moving Tisha b'Av experiences took place during my teenage years. Sure, there were some loopholes—when camps organized makeshift siyum to allow the eating of meat during the Nine Days and, as I have written, there were always campers who would show up on Tisha b'Av night with lawn chairs and bean bags more fitting for the beach. There is something deeply moving and indelibly redolent about the teenage Tisha b'Av experience.
When you are a child, it feels like you are going to be a kid forever. It is nearly impossible, though all kids love to pretend, to imagine life as a grown-up. Adulthood has a similar quality as there is a permanence to being an adult. Once you reach adulthood, you know this is the final stage you will occupy for the rest of your life. Teenage years feel different. There is a transience to being a teenager—you know you're no longer a child and you know you're not quite an adult. It's clear from the beginning of high school that this moment is not going to last forever. For some teens, this feeling can lead to recklessness, a proverbial YOLO attitude that encourages many teens to take risks that perhaps they shouldn't. Others, like myself, feel a lingering sense of anxiety and insecurity that marks so much of their high school experience. Teens are mature enough to be self-aware, but not enough to really imagine what life will feel like in the long-term. This "in-betweeness" of teenagers is actually fertile ground to appreciate the values and concepts underlying Tisha b'Av and the collective mourning it represents.
Once, the Jews rebuilt the Second Temple—but before it was destroyed—do you think they celebrated Tisha b'Av? It's a question that has always fascinated me. The First Temple was already destroyed, so there was certainly tragedy to reflect upon, but they also had the Second Temple. It's a fascinating thought experiment and one discussed in Talmudic commentaries (see Ritva Rosha Hashana 18a). Whether or not they celebrated Tisha b'Av may be up for debate, but what has always intrigued me is that they knew from the very moment the Second Temple was built that it would be eventually be destroyed. The Talmud says that the ceilings of the Second Temple were painted to look like waves in the ocean (see Bava Basra 4a). Why waves? Like waves, storming in the sea, but crashing onto the shore, Rav Hutner explains, was the essence of this transitory period. But the present knowledge of temporality did not diminish their present passion. So long as they were at the table, so long as they were in this moment—like waves, they were storming.
Being a teenager can feel like those waves in the ocean and on the ceiling of the Second Temple. There is an impermanence that is felt throughout. And like mourning itself and Tisha b'Av there is an impermanence that we continue to hope will transform this day of mourning into a day of joy. Even as we have Tisha Tisha b'Av, we know this day will not be forever. But what makes teenagers and the teenage experience so remarkable is the ability to create passionate moments knowing the period will not last. Teenagers know how to negotiate impermanence and ensure it does not erode their inspiration. Like waves in the ocean, like the ceiling of the Second Temple, like our collective mourning on Tisha b'Av, and like the feelings of the teenage years—this will not last forever. But while we are here, in this moment, we can still apprehend the depth and permanence of experience even in this passing period. Teenagers know how to create and capitalize on such moments.
At NCSY, our focus is on the teenage experience and Tisha b'Av is a central part of that. We have some inspiring programs and content including kinot video series spearheaded by Rabbi Jacob Bernstein, Erasure: A Teen Tisha b'Av Primer edited by Alexa Szegedi, and an incredible video program with messages from our signature kumzitz at the Kotel. This Tisha b'Av feels even more temporary than prior years. And while we hope not to have more Tisha Tisha b'Av nor more COVID-induced isolation, we also are committed as a teen organization to storm like a wave so long as we are still at sea. So, as we grapple with the impermanence of the teen and Tisha b'Av experience, we wish everyone an easy and meaningful fast. So long as we are still around this table—we'll all be storming together.
With longing and anticipation for an immediate and permanent redemption,
Dovid Bashevkin |
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