"Each of you shall revere his mother and his father" (Vayikra 19:3) Rashi explains: What does reverence mean? Not to sit in their designated place… The yirah—the reverence—mentioned here is not a fear born of intimidation or dread. Rather, it is a reverence that stems from deep respect: a recognition of the honor due to those who were privileged to bring your soul into the world, so that Hashem's glory would be magnified through you. In Hilchos Kibbud Av Va'Eim, Halachah 2, Reb Noson provides a broader understanding of this concept. The ultimate purpose of the world's creation is to increase the honor of Hashem. And how is this achieved? Specifically through the process of birth—through a father and mother who desire to bring children into the world in accordance with the Torah's command, and who live according to halachah—so that the world will grow in kedushah. In this way, the honor of Hashem is expanded. Sadly, a very common psychological idea has taken root in our times: that every difficulty a person experiences can be traced back to his birth, his parents, and so on. There's an obsession with digging into the past in order to explain our problems. But the Torah's answer is different. Yes, it's true that our nature and traits come from our parents—that's simply the way Hashem designed the world. Yet the very fact that we are here at all, that we exist in this world, is thanks to them. And therefore, the very purpose of our existence includes honoring them, and rising up to face our challenges. Because all the good within us—and it is far, far greater than the negative—also comes from them. And if we strengthen ourselves to seek out the honor of Hashem, and also the honor of our parents, even in the midst of our struggles, we will suddenly discover: there's no one to blame. Everything is in our hands. May we be privileged to truly honor our parents—and see wonders in our own lives. Shabbat Shalom! |
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