Friday, January 21, 2022

FW: [aneinu] Hakhel Community Awareness Bulletin - Honoring HaRav Chaim Yisroel Belsky, Z'tl on His 6th Yahrzeit





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From: 'Chicago Aneinu' via chicago-aneinu <chicago-aneinu@googlegroups.com>
Date: 1/21/22 12:54 PM (GMT-06:00)
To: Chicago Aneinu <myysbyy@aol.com>
Subject: [chicago-aneinu] Hakhel Community Awareness Bulletin - Honoring HaRav Chaim Yisroel Belsky, Z'tl on His 6th Yahrzeit


19 Shevat 5782
LINKS TO JANUARY 17TH SHIURIM



Rabbi Schiffenbauer's Shiur -  https://www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=175946

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TESHUVAH MOMENT
 The Mishna Berurah (Orach Chaim 225, seif katan 19) brings from the Yerushalmi that it is a Mitzvah for one to eat from all new fruits that come out during the year in order to show how chaviv Hashem's creation is to him. Indeed, the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (59:19) puts the thought even more strongly, writing that a person will in the future have to give a din v'cheshbon for not partaking of the wonders that Hashem created. This Halacha is an important lesson for us to recognize and constantly reinforce the miraculousness of nature. When recite the words of HaMeChadeish B'Tuvo Bechol Yom Tomid Ma'aseh Bereishis or Shehakol Nehiyeh Bidvaro we should feel them! Similarly, when walking outside, we can look up and recite: "Se'u Marom Eineichem U're'u Mi Vara Eileh", or "HaShomayim Mesaprim Kevod Keil", or the like. The key is to appreciate Hashem and His magnificent creations. Just as we learn Torah, daven, and do Chesed every day, we should be sure to marvel in Hashem and His world.
PISOM POINTER
Dovid HaMelech, writes in Tehillim (62:13): "U'lecha Hashem Chosed Ki Atta Teshaleim L'ish K'Ma'aseihu"—and Hashem You are kind, for You will pay man in accordance with his deeds. The Radak explains that the reason this Galus has been so extended is so that anything we did wrong in Olam Hazeh will be paid for in the here and now, so that we will be entitled to absolute and complete reward in Olam Haba for the good that we have done. This means that the pain that we are experiencing on a community-wide basis, and on a worldwide basis, is with a deeper and truer understanding, a Chesed from Hashem. What we must also realize is that with the intensity of the suffering we have experienced over the last year, the bad deeds we may have done may have been much more quickly expunged—and that the Geulah is oh so close to our doorstep. As we know, when the time for "KaChatzos HaLayla" arrived in Mitzrayim, it not only happened at around Chatzos, but exactly at Chatzos—not a minute, second or even millisecond late. It is now up to us to yearn for that moment—expressing our yearning in our thoughts, Tefillos and actions. May that moment of Chatzos come soon—and Pisom!

IMPORTANT KAVANOS IN AHAVA RABBA:
The Mogen Avraham (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 60:1) provides some essential Kavannos for one to have at the end of the bracha Ahava Rabba (Ahavas Olam in Nusach Sefard): 
 
-"U'vanu Vacharta Mikol Am VeLashon V'Keiravtanu--and You have chosen us from among every people and tongue." Here, when reciting the words with Kavannah--we can fulfill the Mitzvas Asei of remembering Matan Torah and Ma'amad Har Sinai.  
 
-"LeShimcha HaGadol Selah B'Emes--to Your Great Name." Here, when reciting the words with Kavannah--we can fulfill the Mitzvas Asei of remembering what Amaleik did to us, for as long as they are present in this world Hashem can be referred to as Kah, and only after their destruction will Hashem's Name be made Gadol--'whole'--to always be Yud-Key-Vuv-Key.
 
-"LeHodos Lecha--to offer praiseful thanks to You." Here, when reciting the words with Kavannah--we can fulfill the Mitzvas Asei of remembering what Hashem did to Miriam, through our realization that our mouths were created only to thank Hashem, and not to speak Lashon Hara against others.
 
-"U'Leyachedicha B'Ahava--proclaim Your Oneness with love." Here, when reciting the words with Kavannah--we can fulfill the Mitzvas Asei of remembering how our forefathers angered Hashem in the desert with their conduct, thereby appreciating that our conduct is so important that if c'v it is improper it actually angers Hashem--but that if it is proper it demonstrates our love to Him--and in turn He shows His love back to us in so many ways that we will be able to appreciate!

YAHRZEIT OF HARAV CHAIM YISROEL BELSKY, Z'TL
Today is the sixth Yahrzeit of HaRav Belsky, Z'tl: We recall how he painstakingly reviewed our first Bulletins (available at Hakhel.info.--Bulletins), not only editing language in Halacha--but improving our grammar as well! We would also sometimes send him Shailos by fax, and he would handwrite the answers--and personally fax them back! His life was dedicated to carrying on the mesorah of Halacha, providing the Halacha in new areas in the way that his Rebbeim would have paskened, and helping others better understand the Halachos and their underlying basis. When he gave a Halacha Shiur for us, it was invariably intertwined with practical hashkafa and effective mussar relating to the topic. In a typical Shiur, we would present him with a list of five to ten Shailos, and he would truly endeavor to answer all of them before ending the Shiur. He knew the areas that needed tikun--and spent time conveying his knowledge to K'lal Yisrael. A case in point would be The Halachos of the Summer, which we have presented in parts over the years. His specific knowledge of so much 'scientific' information made his p'sakim in the areas of electricity, brachos over contemporary foods, and other technical issues, authoritative. He steadfastly held to his p'sakim, most recently in the areas of fish and water infestation, notwithstanding that other renowned Poskim disagreed. His vast knowledge of Halacha as it applies to each and every circumstance was legendary in his own time. For instance, a Shailah in one of our Shiurim was: "How can an older person be mekayeim the Mitzvah of Simchas Chosson V'Kallah if he can't keep up with the dancing pace at Chasunahs?" HaRav Belsky responded that if one is genuinely happy at a Chasunah, his happiness will contribute to the Simcha in the entire hall--which will certainly be felt by the Chosson and Kallah. Another time, we asked him about what some referred to as "The Last Remaining Lachash". That is, when one has a bone stuck in his throat, one should bring a bone of the same type, place it on the person's skull and say "Chad, Nochis Bola, Bola Nochis, Chad." [Rebbi Akiva Eiger, Z'tl (Yoreh Deah 335, D'H Nasnah) brings from the Maharil that this lachash is the last one we can generally use even in our days—as it is still "boduk um'nuseh." ] HaRav Belsky advised us that not only is this lachash in full force and effect in our time--but that he himself implemented it on two different occasions!
 
HaRav Belsky once related the following Mashal: "Reuven wanted to get from Brooklyn to New Jersey and drove his car to the Verrazano Bridge. Upon arriving at the toll booths, he was stopped and told that he could travel no further. Looking around, he saw people dressed in funny garb, and noticed a friend of his in the distance. "Chaim, what is this all about?!" Chaim responded: "Don't you know, today is the New York City marathon--I am running today, after having practiced for years, and intend run for miles and miles until I reach my destination at the finish line on Henry Street." Upon hearing the words 'Henry Street, Reuven was elated and exclaimed: "Henry Street! I can't believe it! Do you know, Chaim, that my great-aunt lives on Henry Street. She is homebound and I meant to get a couple of bags of potatoes to her so she could make latkes before Chanukah. Incredibly, I even have the bags of potatoes in my trunk. Would you mind taking them with you and bringing them to her after you reach the finish line? Chaim, shocked at the request, had to advise Reuven that he wouldn't even make it over the bridge carrying two bags of potatoes.... HaRav Belsky explained that people unnecessarily go through life with bags that weigh them down and so disturb them that it does not permit them to properly lead their lives. They do not make it through the race for no good reason at all. We have to know better--and not carry those bags of potatoes with us for the rest of our life!
 
 After September 11th, HaRav Belsky delivered a Shiur to an overflow crowd who were seeking Da'as Torah at such a desperate moment. One of the questions presented was: "Should we daven that things 'return to normal'? HaRav Belsky responded: "Yes--most certainly we should. However, we must not lose focus on what is 'normal' to us. Normal means K'lal Yisrael living in Eretz Yisrael with a Beis HaMikdash as the focal point from which Kedusha emanates. We are never to lose sight of that fact!"
 
We should treasure the many lessons he has left for us, and look forward to seeing him again at the earliest possible Techiyas HaMeisim--B'Karov Bimheira Ve'yameinu.

WE CONTINUE WITH OUR EREV SHABBOS--HALACHOS OF SHABBOS SERIES
A. We provide the following thoughts on the Mitzvah of Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos LeKadesho, contained in the Aseres HaDibros:
 
1. Although Shabbos itself is only one day of the week, Hashem directs us to "Zachor"--to remember it-- not only on Shabbos itself, but during the six days which precede it. Every single time we purchase, bake, cook, clean, wash, shine, work late, leave work early--we are always remembering the Shabbos! HaRav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach, Z'tl, is known to have taught that one even fulfills a Mitzvas Asei of Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos by reciting "HaYom Yom Rishon L'Shabbos", "HaYom Yom Sheini L'Shabbos..." every day prior to the Shir Shel Yom. In fact, he would state "Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos LeKadesho", and then recite HaYom Yom to demonstrate that he was fulfilling the Mitzvas Asei D'Oraysa." All of this, of course, teaches us the enormity of the Mitzvah of Shabbos--for it requires so much aforethought and attention, so much preparation, thinking and care. 
 
2. Each of the Aseres HaDibros is alluded to in the Kriyas Shema that we recite twice daily. The Mishna Berurah, citing the Yerushalmi writes that the allusion to the Dibra of "Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos" is in the words "Es Kol Mitzvosai--all of My Mitzvos"--for Shabbos weighs against all of the other Mitzvos combined!
 
3. The awesome power and reach of Shabbos transcends this world into the next--and even extends from the righteous to the wicked. What do we mean? Rabbeinu Bachaya writes that the reason we do not begin Ma'ariv on Leil Shabbos with the words: "Vehu Rachum Yechapeir Avon…" as we do on a weekday is the following: There are three Malochim, with the names Mashchis, Ahf, and Cheima, who are in charge of meting out the Reshaim's punishments in Gehenom daily. On Shabbos, they are not permitted to mete out punishment, and the Reshaim have Menucha on Shabbos as well. Each of these three Malochim is, of course, alluded to in the VeHu Rachum. By our not reciting VeHu Rachum then, we indicate that these Malochim have no power on this awesome day--for everyone must benefit from its spiritual power and strength! 
 
B. The Mitzvah of Kiddush is also derived from the words "Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos LeKadesho". Accordingly, we review certain points about Kiddush, as presented in the Sefer Bris Olam by HaRav Binyomin (HaTzadik) Zilber, Z'tl:
 
1. One should make Kiddush promptly after coming home from Shul. However, if one has not recited Kriyas Shema in its proper time in Shul--and its time has now arrived-- he should recite it before Kiddush. 
 
2. A woman could be motzi'a a man with Kiddush-but lechatchila this should not be done if they are not from the same household. All halachos of Kiddush--such as Kiddush Bemakom Seudah apply equally to men and women. A person cannot hear Kiddush in one place--and then go to another place to eat--because the listener too must have Kiddush Bemakom Seudah.
 
3. The one making Kiddush should tell the listeners to have Kavannah to be yotzei with his Kiddush. The listeners should not be walking around, reading something, humming, and should be careful to follow--word by word.
 
4. A person can be Motzi others with Kiddush (who for some reason can't do it themselves) even if he has already been Yotzei his Kiddush (we specifically note that this does not appear to be true of Havdalah).
 
5. Lechatchila, the person making Kiddush--as opposed to another participant--should drink a minimum shiur of a Rov Revi'is--to be safe, 2.5 ounces. It is best if everyone drinks a little bit from the Kos--but if there will not be enough for Kiddush and Havdala, they need not drink.
 
6. In the morning Kiddush, one should not begin with the words "Al Kein Bairach"--as this is the middle of a Pasuk. One should instead begin with the Pasuk of Veshamru or of Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos LeKadesho.
 
Hakhel Note One: The Ba'al HaTurim, in his Peirush on the Pasuk of Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos LeKadesho writes that if we can fulfill this Mitzvah every day by doing something LeKavod Shabbos--then all the more so on Erev Shabbos [and certainly on Shabbos itself!] He continues that this Pasuk is the seventh Pasuk of the Aseres HaDibros, begins with a zayin (seven), and seven individuals are commanded to keep the Shabbos in the commandment. He concludes that there are five words in the Pasuk, which teaches us that if one keeps the Shabbos it is considered as if he kept the Chamisha Chumshei Torah! It is no small wonder, then, that HaRav Moshe Feinstein, Z'tl, and HaRav Elyashiv, Z'tl, are known to have made it a point to personally shine their own shoes on Erev Shabbos!
 
Hakhel Note Two: Throughout this Shabbos and every Shabbos, we can remember these inspiring words from the Parasha--Zachor Es Yom HaShabbos-LeKadesho--for when we sanctify the Shabbos day--we are most certainly sanctifying ourselves as well!
 
 Hakhel Note Three: Rabbi Maimon Elbaz, Shlita, Founding Director of TorahShows, provides an essential, informative and inspirational audio-visual presentation on Shabbos. [Rabbi Elbaz, in fact, has presented in 40 cities worldwide. If you would like to reach him, he may be reached at maimonelbaz613@gmail.com.] To indicate how the Shabbos impacts on the coming week, Rabbi Elbaz shows how our five senses are used at Havdala. With this, we demonstrate that our physical being has been significantly impacted, and that we will carry the spiritual essence of Shabbos with us into every aspect of our physical lives in the coming week!

JEWISH JUDGES
In the Parasha, as what appears to be a condition precedent to Kabbalas HaTorah, the Torah first teaches us that we are to establish a proper system of judges and leaders. The Torah adjures that they be qualified and capable. In our days, we have Rabbonim and Dayanim who also issue rulings and decisions in all matters--ranging from whether the animal is kosher to whether Reuven owes Shimon five million dollars. Yet, there are those who will complain--saying "The Rav or Beis Din is wrong in saying that this is not kosher--or in ruling that I owe him money--when it is he who owes me the money!" The Chofetz Chaim (Sefer Chofetz Chaim 6:8) writes that even if they are actually correct, they have no right to openly balk, criticize or complain against a ruling--because it could be that, BeHashgacha Pratis, Hashem has caused this to happen to you (see there for further detail). We should take a lesson from the fact that the Torah places the administering of Torah before the actual giving of the Torah itself in tomorrow's Parasha--without the due respect for our Rabbanim, Dayanim and leaders we simply do not get to Kabbalas HaTorah. It is no coincidence then (as it never is), that in Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De'ah 243-246) the laws of respecting Talmidei Chachomim are actually placed before the laws of Talmud Torah itself! Let us take the seriuos message closely and seriously for the honor and respect due to Hashem's designated ones. Perhaps, to make up for any inappropriateness in the past, we can add a meaningful Kabbalah, bli neder, in this area. The time could not be better...

RECALLING THE EVENT
As in previous years, we provide the following moving description of the Events at Har Sinai: "You were revealed in Your cloud of glory to Your holy people to speak with them. From the heavens You made them hear Your voice and revealed Yourself to them in thick clouds of purity. Moreover, the entire universe shuddered before You and the creatures of creation trembled before You during Your revelation, our King, on Har Sinai to teach Your people Torah and commandments. You made them hear the majesty of Your voice and Your holy utterances from fiery flames. Amid thunder and lightning You were revealed to them and with the sound of Shofar You appeared to them, as it is written in Your Torah: 'And it was on the third day when it was morning, there was thunder and lightning, a heavy cloud was on the mountain and the sound of the Shofar was very strong, and the entire people in the camp trembled.' And it is said, 'and the sound of the Shofar became increasingly stronger, Moshe would speak and Hashem would respond with a voice.' And it is said, 'and the entire people saw the sounds and the flames and the sound of the Shofar and the smoking mountain, and the people saw and trembled and stood from afar.'" 
 
This special description, as many may have realized, is actually the first paragraph of the Shofaros section of the Rosh Hashana Mussaf Shemone Esrei! Our translation is actually that of the Artscroll Machzor. The momentous and outstanding occasion of Matan Torah is demonstrated by its placement at such a pinnacle point of our Rosh Hashana Tefillos-- in Mussaf after concluding both Malchiyos and Zichronos. As we daven for our lives on the Yom HaDin, we reach back for our greatest of zechuyos to Kabbalas HaTorah, and concomitantly bring and accept upon ourselves an elevated level of Awe for Hashem and His Torah. The magnificent significance of this very same Matan Torah tomorrow should be properly accepted and acted upon by us. We must renew and reinvigorate our Torah Study in order to demonstrate our appreciation of an event which non-coincidentally rests at the high point of our prayers on Rosh Hashana--when we pray for life and show that we are worthy because we recognize what life is really all about. If someone would ask you tomorrow after laining --'What are you walking away from Matan Torah with?'--be prepared with an answer that truly befits you!
 
Hakhel Point One: The three Pesukim in Shofaros cited above refer to the great Shofar blast at Matan Torah. The Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva writes (based upon the pasuk--Amos 3:6) that a Shofar is used because: "Hayitaka Shofar BaIr Ve'Am Lo Yecheradu--can it be that a Shofar will be blown in the city and the inhabitants will not tremble?!" Certainly, when tomorrow we take witness of the blowing of the Shofar for such a miraculously long period and from a non-human source--all the more so should we take heed of the awesome nature of the moment and act accordingly. After experiencing the Shofar blast tomorrow, we must also rejuvenate our Teshuva Bechol Yom in a special way--as we look at our 5782 Kabbalah Sheet and plan for the future! 
 
Hakhel Point Two: Every morning, when we recite the words "Asher Bachar Bonu MiKol Ho'amim VeNosan Lonu Es Toraso" in Birkas HaTorah, it behooves us to treasure the wonder and awe of the event, for at that irreplaceable moment in history we became forever distinguished as a People, and each of our very souls became infused with the kedusha, the unparalleled holiness, of a Nishmas Yisrael. We once again provide below from the Sefer Ma'amad Har Sinai (by Rav Shlomo Rosner, Shlita) a small portion of the description of Matan Torah, as culled from the Gemara and Midrashim--which, we reiterate, forever changed world history, our history--and each of our lives. The import, extent and unparalleled nature of the event is described by the Torah itself (Devorim 4:32, 33) with the words: "Ki She'al Na …--When you ask of the earlier days from the day Hashem created man on the earth, and from one end of the heaven to the other…has there ever been anything like this…has a people ever heard the voice of Hashem speaking from the midst of a fire as you have heard….?!"
 
Just some of the wondrous events brought by Rav Rosner, Shlita:
 
1.                             The lightning bolts and thunder were not uniform and consistent, but were different from each other to add to the reverence and uniqueness of the occasion. The thunder could be seen, and the lightning bolts heard.
2.                             The Shofar blast could be heard worldwide.
3.                             600,000 ministering Melachim came to attend, and rested on Har Sinai itself.
4.                             Har Sinai was raised from its place, and was suspended in midair with the Bnei Yisrael standing underneath it.
5.                             Although many were wounded and maimed from the years of slavery in Mitzrayim, they were all healed. Moreover, they were healed from spiritual and mental illness as well, and there were no zavim, metzoraim, or shotim. The zuhama, the spiritual contamination planted in man by the nachash was removed from us, so that we would have the quality of Adam before the cheit.
6.                             The mountain itself was burning, with its fire reaching the heavens.
7.                             The Seven Heavens opened up to the Kisei HaKavod--with more being revealed to the Bnei Yisrael than was revealed to Yechezkel HaNavi and Yeshaya HaNavi in their visions of the Merkava.
8.                             The Seven Tehomos (depths) below also opened, so that Bnei Yisrael understood that Hashem was singular in all worlds, and most definitely that "Ain Od Milevado--there is nothing else but for Hashem."
9.                             The mountains of Tavor and Carmel in Eretz Yisrael were uprooted from their place and came to Midbar Sinai.
10.                         The World was still and silent--the sun remained in one place, seas did not move, birds did nor chirp or fly, the animals were silent. Even the Serafim did not say "Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh…."
11.                         Tal, a special dew, fell to revive the Bnei Yisrael after their souls had left them from the awe of the Dibros.
12.                         The letters of each of the Aseres HaDibros could be seen as they were said.
13.                         Every nation heard each Dibur in its own language, so that it could not later claim that "had it heard…"
14.                         With each Dibur, the World became filled with the aroma of besamim.
 
We have provided above 14 special details of Matan Torah at Har Sinai. In fact, there are 14 Azkaros--Hashem's name is mentioned a total of 14 times--in the Aseres HaDibros. The Tashbatz writes that there are also 14 Azkaros in the Sheva Brachos that we recite at a Chasuna and the days following in celebration. Indeed, a Great Wedding is taking place this Shabbos--and you are one of the Ba'alei Simcha--so prepare--and celebrate!
 
Additional Note: The monumental occasion of Har Sinai is relived in Shul four times a week at Kriyas HaTorah. How so? The Mishna Berurah (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chayim 141, seif katan 16) writes that the Ba'al Kriyah is the Shul's equivalent of Moshe Rabbeinu, relating the Torah to all assembled--men and women, young and old--at the behest of the Gabbai, who kevayachol, is "in the place of" Hashem, designating whom he wants to call to the Torah to hear its teaching. The person receiving the aliyah represents K'lal Yisrael, serving as their special, designated representative! With this in mind, and for the rest of our lives, the Kriyas HaTorah we experience--whether on a Monday or Thursday, Shabbos or Yom Kippur must take on new and precious meaning, as we feel the unique privilege of our participation in an absolutely incomparable event!

THE FIRST OF THE ASERES HADIBROS
In the first of the Aseres HaDibros, we are taught that Hashem took us out of Mitzrayim, the House of Bondage. What does the phrase "House of Bondage" add--we all know what Mitzrayim was, and what happened to us there? HaRav Mattisyahu Salomon, Shlita (Mattisyahu Chaim Ben Ettel L'Refuah Sheleimah), explains that it is intended for us to especially focus--at the outset of the Aseres HaDibros--on the Hakaros HaTov that we owe to Hashem for His freeing us from bondage. HaRav Salomon explains that the Kabalos Ol Malchus Shomayim that took place at Har Sinai could not have been based on "Anochi Hashem", on Emunah, alone. There is an absolutely essential, second prerequisite--and that is thoroughly appreciating Hashem's gifts to us in this world. Indeed, HaRav Salomon notes that the Mitzriyim, who "forgot" what Yosef did for them, represent the antithesis of Hakaras HaTov--and that is why Hashem not only literally--but figuratively--took us out of there! We must accordingly understand that Hakaros HaTov is not simply a Midah Tovah, a good character trait, concludes Rav Salomon, but a precondition to our daily Kabalas Ol Malchus Shomayim!
 
Hakhel Note: Based upon this essential teaching, we must be careful to have Kavana daily in the brachos which precede Kriyas Shema in Shacharis and Ma'ariv daily, as they are infused with the Hakaros Hatov necessary to boost us to the proper recitation of Shema!

THE FIFTH OF THE ASERES HADIBROS
The Fifth of the Aseres HaDibros is the Mitzvah of Kibbud Av VaEim. This Dibra is the only one in tomorrow's leining which describes the reward for its performance--so that your days will be lengthened upon your land that Hashem gives you. HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita, was asked whether, in addition to length of days, the reward also implied good health during the lengthened days. He replied that even though the reward does not absolutely imply briyus--but it is 'yitachein'-- it can well be it includes good health as well(!). We provide this Teshuva in order to especially emphasize the great care in which one should undertake the Mitzvah of Kibbud Av VaEim. Strikingly, Rabbeinu Sa'adya Gaon writes that: "And that which the pasuk established the reward for honoring one's parents as length of days is because sometimes a person's parents can live a long time and could be perceived by the children as a heavy burden. Therefore, Hashem by providing the reward of long life, indicates to the children that you should give them their due honor in their older age and live with them--and if one is mitzta'er because of their life then he is essentially being mitzta'er on his own life--for his length of days comes through his parents! 
 
In connection with this great Mitzvah, we provide the following essential review points as provided in the past:
 
A. Unless a parent is knowingly mochel, it is forbidden to refer to your father or mother by their first name (even when requested for identification purposes) without a title of honor preceding the first name, whether or not they are present and whether or not they are alive. When being called to the Torah, one must refer to his father as Reb or Avi Mori. Whenever referring to one's mother, one can use the title HaIsha or Moras (Yoreh Deah 240:2). Hakhel Note: "Even if a parent foregoes [is mochel] his honor, a child still fulfills a mitzvah by nonetheless honoring him, but in such a case he will not be punished for failure to do so. (Chidushei Rebbi Akiva Eiger)."
 
B. When honoring parents, very special care and concern must be taken to do it B'sever Ponim Yafos —pleasantly (Yorah De'ah 240:4). The Sefer Chareidim (Mitzvos Asei of the Heart 1:35) and Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, Z'tl (Sichos Mussar 5731:22) both explain that in order to properly perform the mitzvah, one must mentally gain a true appreciation and honor of their parents and literally view them as royalty. Indeed, the Chayei Adam (67:3) known for his succinctness in recording Halacha, writes that the "Ikar Kibud"--the most important [aspect of] Kibud is that "He should view his parents as GREAT personages and important dignitaries.
 
C. In once addressing a crowd of many middle-aged adults, Rabbi Moshe Faskowitz, Shlita, provided the following amazing insight. The Torah juxtaposes the Mitzvah of Shabbos and Kibud Av V'Aim in the Aseres HaDibros. Why? What is the relationship between the honor of parents and Shabbos observance? Although there may be several answers to this question, Rabbi Faskowitz, a scion of the great Novordaker dynasty, suggested the following novel approach: When it comes to Shemiras Shabbos, one cannot be too busy, too taken, to do what he has to in order to observe, and not Chas V'shalom violate, the Shabbos. When Shabbos arrives, one cannot say he needs "another five minutes" or that he "will do it later" because he is too busy now. So too, when it comes to parents (especially elderly parents), no matter how busy one is— even if he is the busiest person in the world —HE CAN NEVER BE TOO BUSY to have time for his parents. Every person must apply this great insight to his own circumstances. Your parents are like your Shabbos. This is what the Torah instructs.
 
Hakhel Note: What if someone 's parents are or were not well-respected or 'good' people--at least in the son's mind? HaRav Pam, Z'tl has the easy answer for that--how could they not deserve great honor and respect--after all, they were zoche to have you as their child! 

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