Sunday, November 26, 2023

Fw: aneinu] Hakaras HaTov (Gratitude) - Week 3: Even Without Intent



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From: 'Chicago Aneinu' via chicago-aneinu <chicago-aneinu@googlegroups.com>
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Sent: Sunday, November 26, 2023 at 09:23:54 PM CST
Subject: [chicago-aneinu] Hakaras HaTov (Gratitude) - Week 3: Even Without Intent


Hakaras HaTov (Gratitude)

Week 3

Even Without Intent

We are focusing this month on the middah of Hakras Hatov (gratitude). We explained how Hakaras Hatov is such an essential middah, because the more we train ourselves to notice what people do for us and thank them for it, the more likely we will be to recognize Hashem as our Creator and thank Him for everything He gives us, which is actually the purpose of our creation.

Last week, we practiced looking at the things we are enjoying in this world, and tracing them back to their source. But when you look at your apple and think of all the people involved in bringing this fruit to you - the farmer, the man driving the delivery truck, the storekeeper, etc. - you may start to wonder:

Do I really need to thank all these people?! They didn't do all their work in order to benefit me - they don't even know I exist! They do the same job every day, and they're not thinking about me at all... they're just working in order to get paid. Do I really need to thank them?

Am I supposed to feel appreciation even for someone who does things for his own benefit, without having me personally in mind at all?

The answer is a resounding YES!

Moshe Rabbeinu taught us this lesson when he asked Aharon to strike the water and the earth to bring about the plagues of Blood and Lice, instead of Moshe doing it himself. Why couldn't Moshe strike the water and the earth by himself?

The Midrash [1] explains that Moshe felt a debt of gratitude to both the water and the earth, and therefore he could not strike them. The water hid Moshe when he was a baby [2] and the earth saved Moshe by hiding the evil Egyptian whom Moshe had to kill in order to save a fellow Jew [3]. Hashem told Moshe that he cannot hit the water and the earth by himself, because if he would, it would demonstrate a lack of appreciation for these natural elements that saved him from death. That's why Moshe had to ask Aharon to hit the water and earth instead.

We can see from this Midrash that a person is indeed required to demonstrate appreciation even to inanimate objects.

In a similar vein, the Talmud [4] teaches: "If you drank from a pit, do not throw a rock into it." You benefitted from the pit, so don't throw something into it.

The Reason for Appreciating Inanimate Objects

Why do we need to demonstrate appreciation for inanimate objects, which have no thoughts or feelings at all? They'll never know the different if we appreciate them or not!

Rav Dessler [5] explains: When we express appreciation, the main point is to develop ourselves into thankful people, not just to make the other person feel good for being appreciated. It is irrelevant whether the person who helped us had in mind to benefit us personally or not; no matter what the other person was thinking, we need to develop ourselves in people who notice the gifts around us and appreciate where they came from.

That's why Chazal have taught us to demonstrate appreciation even to inanimate objects, who certainly do have not have intention in mind to help us. Chazal are teaching us that the chiyuv of hakras hatov is not dependent on the intention of the giver at all. Rather, the obligation to express appreciation is an obligation that rests on you, the receiver of the benefit.

A person who receives a gift should feel a debt of gratitude for the mere fact that he received something, but he should not start wondering and analyzing whether the giver intended to benefit him or not. No matter what intention the giver had in mind, we are still obligated to feel appreciation for however they benefitted us.

So do we have to appreciate the farmer, the man driving the delivery truck and the shopkeeper, who were all involved in bring us this delicious apple? The answer is: YES, we do! Because it develops us into thankful people.

Sources: [1] Midrash Tanchuma Va'eira 14; [2] Shemos 2:3; [3] Shemos 2:12; [4] Bava Kama 92b; [5] Strive for Truth Vol. III. pgs. 98-99, also see Zichron Meir by Rav Meir Rubman pg. 335.

This Week's Challenge

Once a day, say "Thank you" to someone who helped you or gave you enjoyment... but this time, choose someone who was doing it anyway, without having you specifically in mind.

For example:

  • Write a "Letter to the Editor" to thanking the editors of a magazine you enjoy reading.
  • Thank the janitor in your school or workplace.
  • Thank the mailman for delivering your mail.
  • Call or email a company to say thank you for creating an item that benefits you - such as the company that created your fridge, computer, favorite pens, etc.
If it is too difficult to reach the person or company, you can just say your "thank you" out loud, by saying, for example: "I appreciate the people who plow the snow on my street so that I can walk and drive safely."
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Questions of the Week

Level 1
What passuk do we say in Hallel that means: "How can I ever repay Hashem for all His kindnesses to me?"
Level 2 
Which song in the Pesach Haggadah recounts a long list of many kindnesses Hashem has done for us?
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