I. Why Doesn't Esav Harm Yaakov?
The beginning of our parasha brings us to the final chapter in the ongoing saga of the conflict between Yaakov and Esav, which began in Parashat Toldot. The parasha opens with Yaakov's trepidation in anticipation of reuniting with his brother:
And Yaakov was greatly afraid and distressed. (Bereishit 32:8)
This anxiety leads him to extensive and meticulous preparations to counter the existential threat: he divides the camp, prays to God for His help, and sends lavish gifts to Esav (32:8-21). To our great surprise, when Esav meets Yaakov, none of Yaakov's fears come true. The gap between the intensity of Yaakov's anxiety and preparations, and the calmness of the meeting itself, calls us to try and understand what really happened between the brothers.[1]
It could be argued that the result of the encounter is due to Yaakov's preparations – that Yaakov's prayer, the many gifts he sent to Esav, and his bowing before Esav all stood him in good stead and caused Esav to change his plan.[2]
However, there is another factor here. Between the story of Yaakov's preparations for the encounter and the encounter itself, a surprising story suddenly appears – Yaakov's struggle with the angel. As commentators have already demonstrated, the location of this story and its content indicate that it is closely connected to the encounter between Yaakov and Esav.[3] There are also clear parallels between the stories. For example, at the conclusion of the struggle with the angel, it is stated:
And Yaakov called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face. (32:31)
In his encounter with Esav, Yaakov employs similar language:
For I have seen your face, as one sees the face of God. (33:10)
Yaakov indicates here that their encounter reminds him of his struggle with the angel on the previous night. This parallel led Chazal to identify the angel who wrestled with Yaakov:
[The angel] was the angel of Esav. This is what he said to him: "For I have seen your face, as one sees the face of God, and you were pleased with me." (Bereishit Rabba 77, 3 [and so too Rashi, 32:25])
At first glance this interpretation seems midrashic, but in fact it fits in with the plain sense of the text. Just before his concrete reunion with Esav, Yaakov is confronted by a miraculous figure who is somehow connected to his brother. This struggle is related to and affects the actual encounter with Esav that immediately follows, as we will see.
II. The Background to the Struggle with the Angel
Before we turn to the struggle itself, it is appropriate to consider the background that led to it. The young Yaakov tended toward passivity, weakness, and avoidance of direct confrontations. "A simple man, dwelling in tents" (25:27), who dares not confront his brother directly and instead tries to act behind his back, in devious ways. This pattern began already at his birth and shaped his name:
And his hand took hold of Esav's heel, and his name was called Yaakov. (25:26)
This, of course, is not a technical description, but a revelation of the essence of Yaakov, who follows behind and is incapable of face-to-face confrontation.
After that, we encounter this type of relation two more times – in the sale of the birthright and in the theft of the blessings. Esav himself described it well, expounding Yaakov's name:
And he said: Is he not rightly named Yaakov? For he has supplanted me (vayakveini)these two times: he took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing. (27:36)
In the previous shiur (on Parashat Vayetze), we followed the process that Yaakov underwent through the challenges he had to face in the house of Lavan. The Yaakov of the end of Vayetze is not the Yaakov of the end of Toldot. He already dares to stand up to Lavan and rebuke him for the wrongs he did to him (31:35-42).
However, in the process of fleeing from Lavan, Yaakov still used subterfuge and fled in the night, when Lavan had gone to shear his sheep (31:19-20). His direct rebuke to Lavan occurred only at the end of the story, after Lavan had pursued him and searched for his missing terafim, and seems more like an emotional outburst than a planned and calculated confrontation with the enemy. Yaakov does not yet dare to go directly and confront.
At the beginning of our parasha, we see Yaakov progressing to the next level. This time, Yaakov does not try to sneak by at night and avoid confrontation with Esav. Moreover, it is he who initiates their interaction, by sending messengers (32:4-5). Even after the messengers return, Yaakov does not sit idly by or try to avoid meeting with Esav, but rather prepares for it as much as possible. For the first time, Yaakov is ready for a face-to-face encounter rather than a heel-grabbing one.
The novelty of this type of encounter absorbs Yaakov already at the preparations stage and causes him to prepare the gift for Esav:
For he said: I will appease him (panav) with the present that goes before me (lefanai), and afterward I will see his face (panav); perhaps he will accept me (panai). (32:21)
Four times here Yaakov mentions the word panim, "face," in various inflections. His anxiety about such a meeting, which he has so far avoided, is evident. This anxiety causes him to create a gradual meeting with Esav: first he will appease him with gifts, and only afterwards will he dare to show his face. A face-to-face encounter is so new to Yaakov that he needs to prepare for it. Only after extensive preparations, when Yaakov has shown that he is ready for a direct encounter with Esav, does God send the angel.
It is worth noting the difference between the Divine providence over Yaakov here and in the encounter with Lavan. As mentioned, Yaakov seemed less mature then. Accordingly, the Divine intervention was commensurate – God steps in against Lavan and solves Yaakov's problem, warning Lavan not to approach Yaakov (31:24). But now Yaakov seems more mature, and accordingly the Divine intervention is reduced. God does not appear to Esav in a dream and warn him not to approach Yaakov; instead, He sends an angel, and Yaakov must confront him himself. Yaakov is required to struggle and thus to examine whether the patterns of Yaakov and the heel remain, or whether we really have a different person here, a Yaakov who wrestles and confronts directly.
The timing of the struggle with the angel is not coincidental. After all his extensive preparations, Yaakov suddenly gets up in the middle of the night and decides to move his entire family across the Yabok:
And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two handmaids, and his eleven children, and passed over the ford of Yabok. (32:23)
Getting up and crossing the stream in the middle of the night seems strange and unrelated to all the preparations for the meeting, which until now seemed to be orderly and calculated. The transfer of a large family across the stream in the middle of the night seems more like a hasty action stemming from anxiety. It is possible that Yaakov decided at the last moment to slip away in the dead of night, avoiding the meeting with his brother by a quick and confusing change of the family's location. This is the tactic that worked with Lavan – fleeing under the cover of darkness.
But now God expects more from him. He is not willing to let Yaakov continue to evade confrontation. An angel is dispatched to the scene and at the last moment, when Yaakov is left alone (32:25) and has not yet had time to escape, he demands that Yaakov confront him directly.
III. The Struggle
The struggle was indeed forced upon Yaakov, but he does not try to avoid it and does not surrender. For the first time, he fights to the end, until "the break of dawn" (32:25). There is symbolism here; it is no longer possible to hide behind a disguise or behind the night. Yaakov's struggle will now be in broad daylight. And now, in this struggle, Yaakov dares to ask for a blessing – directly, rather than through deception as in the past:
And he said, I will not let you go, unless you bless me. (32:27)
As Rashi explains:
Admit my right to the blessings which my father gave me and to which Esav lays claim. (Rashi, ad loc.)
During the struggle, Yaakov was injured in "the hollow of his thigh," a location that recalls the famous heel of Esav, which Yaakov held onto at their birth. As it were, the angel is trying to tell him that from now on "the hollow of his thigh" will be neutralized. No more holding onto the heel or any other sensitive lower place – from now on Yaakov will be required to engage in face-to-face struggles.
Accordingly, it is appropriate to replace the name of Yaakov, which recalls the "heel" (akev). Another name is added to him, one that is connected to his newly acquired ability – to struggle.
And he said: Your name shall be called no more Yaakov, but Yisrael; for you have striven (sarita) with God and with men, and have prevailed. (32:29)[4]
IV. The Struggle with the Angel and the Encounter with Esav
According to some commentators, the spiritual struggle between Yaakov and the angel ended in Yaakov's victory over "the angel of Esav," which led to Esav's submission when they met in the physical dimension.[5] However, there are several difficulties with this interpretation.
First, it does not appear that the angel surrendered to Yaakov – in fact it is Yaakov who emerged limping from the encounter. It is true that Yaakov managed to extract a blessing from him, but there is no clear surrender of the angel in the struggle. It seems more like a draw – one is injured in the thigh and the other is forced to give a blessing. Moreover, we do not see any hint in the actual encounter between the brothers that the struggle with the angel is what caused Esav to embrace Yaakov.[6] There are no signs of submission on Esav's part – he simply runs to Yaakov and embraces and kisses him.
The absence of any submission here is highlighted by comparison to the confrontation between Yaakov and Lavan, which was mentioned above. There, indeed, is a model of spiritual resolution followed by physical submission. As mentioned, God appears to Lavan and warns him not to approach Yaakov. This is the stage of resolution in the spiritual-Divine realm. Subsequently, Lavan explicitly manifests signs of surrender to Yaakov, due to the latter's victory on the spiritual plane:
I have the power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying: Take heed to yourself not to speak to Yaakov either good or bad. (31:29)
In the encounter with Esav, we find no trace of anything similar. Esav does not tell Yaakov that he wishes to harm him but is prevented from doing so due to the angel's submission. Therefore, it seems that the relationship between the stories must be interpreted differently.
V. The Struggle Between Yaakov and Esav
If we examine the meeting between Yaakov and Esav, we do not find a simple and total submission by Esav, but rather continued disagreement. After the initial stage of hugs and kisses, there are several arguments; in every one, Yaakov stands his ground and does not compromise, and he emerges with the upper hand.
Dispute I – Acceptance of gifts:
And Esav said: I have much, my brother; let that which you have be yours. And Yaakov said: I pray you, if now I have found favor in your sight, take my present at my hand… take, I pray you, my blessing which is brought to you… And he urged him and he took it. (33:9-11)
Dispute II – The joint journey:
And he said: Let us journey, and let us go, and I will go at your side. And he said to him: My lord knows that the children are tender… Let my lord, I pray you, pass over before his servant, and I will journey on gently, according to the pace of the possessions [i.e., animals] that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my Lord to Seir. (33:12-14)
Dispute III – The placement of escorts:
And Esav said: Let me now leave with you some of the people that is with me. And he said: Why [do] this? Let me [just] find favor in the eyes of my lord. (33:15)
These arguments between the parties indicate that Yaakov is filled with deep suspicion of Esav. He insists that Esav take the gifts, because he reads Esav's heart and understands that it would be quite worthwhile to make compensation for having taken the blessing. There is even a hint to this in his words to Esav: "Please take my blessing" – these gifts are a substitute for the blessing.
Yaakov then pushes for a complete separation between the two sides and is unwilling to continue any contact, even with Esav's representatives. He succeeds and the story ends with Esav going to Mount Seir and Yaakov going to Sukkot (33:16-17).
The character of the encounter is reminiscent of the struggle with the angel: there, too, we saw a prolonged struggle between the parties, and there, too, an argument ensued that ended with Yaakov as the winner:
And he said: Let me go, for dawn is breaking. And he said: I will not let you go, unless you bless me. (32:27)
As mentioned, the victory over the angel was not absolute. But in the course of the struggle, Yaakov knew how to stand his ground. Therefore, it seems that what develops in Yaakov is not a model of absolute victory, but the ability to struggle and argue, which leads him to important achievements without the need for avoidance and flight.
Yaakov, after his years of wandering and suffering with Lavan, learns to stand upright, to assert himself, to struggle, and to argue. He stops resorting to guile and cunning. He also does not go for a knockout punch and total victory. He learns to stand his ground and demand the blessing that was promised to him in prophecy before his birth (25:23). He does not rush headlong into the arms of Esav, as he did with Lavan. Yaakov takes a cautious approach and manages his relationship with Esav wisely and assertively, until the latter is forced to concede.
This is the new quality that developed in Yaakov that night, in the face of the angel – the ability to stand his ground within a relationship, without running away or scheming.
It is interesting to note the linguistic connection between the verbs vaye'avek (he struggled), which appears in the encounter with the angel, and vayechabek (he embraced), which appears with Esav[7] – while the entire episode takes place at the crossing of the "Yabok" (32:23), which alludes to both verbs. Yaakov does not perceive Esav's embrace as something innocent. The embrace, in fact, reminds him of a similar incident that took place many years ago when he arrived at Lavan's house:
And it came to pass, when Lavan heard the tidings of Yaakov his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. (29:13)
And Esav ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. (33:4)
Yaakov then was still "a simple man." He believed in Lavan's good heart, and we remember the disappointment that followed. Since then, Yaakov has undergone a process of maturation the hard way. When Esav runs towards him, hugging and kissing him, he is not tempted to think that he is facing a loving brother. He understands that there might be a plot here. Years ago, he innocently entered Lavan's house. Now he argues with Esav, insists on giving him the gifts he wishes to give him, and refuses to live with him. Yaakov has learned to fight, to stand his ground, and to maintain his separateness.
Thus, it would seem that both encounters – with the angel and with Esav – teach us about two sides of the same psychological development of Yaakov. Facing the angel, Yaakov succeeds on the spiritual level and learns to struggle. He undergoes a profound change, and his name is changed to Yisrael. He utilizes the same ability to struggle in the actual encounter with Esav and his machinations. He learns to read Esav's intent, to be wary, and to fight for what is his. This is the new Yaakov-Yisrael, who struggles and stands "face to face," thus becoming worthy of the blessings, in his own right.[8]
(Translated by David Strauss; edited by Sarah Rudolph)
[1] One might argue that Yaakov was simply mistaken in his assessment of Esav's intentions and that the latter had no intention of attacking him in the first place. However, this possibility seems unlikely, as Yaakov's messengers told him that Esav was coming towards him with four hundred men. If it were a friendly meeting, there would be no need for such a large number of people. In fact, we see elsewhere that the phrase "four hundred men" refers to a group of warriors (I Shmuel 22:2; 25:13). It is also likely that the messengers did not worry Yaakov without basis, but described the way Esav was advancing and the equipment that he had with him, which increased the likelihood of violent intent. Likewise, the expectation of harm from Esav is connected to his explicit statement about his intention to kill Yaakov, following the theft of the blessings (27:41).
[2] Thus, for example, Rashi explains that Esav's mercy was aroused when Yaakov bowed before him (33:4).
[3] Rabbi Elchanan Samet, "The Encounter between Yaakov and Esav" (Heb.) (see in his article additional parallels between the stories), and Rabbi Prof. Mordechai Sabato, "Yaakov and Esav's Meeting" (Heb.), Ha-Ma'ayan 5740, pp. 1-9.
[4] The name Yisrael sounds similar to Sara, and she was characterized by the same ability – as we see in the story of the expulsion of Yishmael. Sara did not hide, nor did she try to avoid struggle. Yaakov was called to give up the devious ways of his mother and to adopt the path of his grandmother, who confronted family problems head-on.
[5] Both Rabbi Samet and Rabbi Sabato (note 3) followed this line of thought, each in his own way.
[6] Rabbi Samet was aware of this difficulty and therefore explained that the spiritual struggle's effect on Esav was mystical and he was not aware of what was taking place within him. This is a possible explanation, but there is no hint of it in the verses.
[7] See the beautiful words of Rashi on the fact that a struggle is an expression of a kind of close relationship: "'And a man wrestled' – [Vaye'avek] is an Aramaic word… a term denoting 'intertwining,' for it is the way of two people who are struggling to bring each other down, that he embraces him and binds him with his arms" (Rashi, 32:25).
[8] Only a protracted struggle and Yaakov's standing his ground eventually lead Esav to concede and withdraw from the Land of Canaan, as we see at the end of the parasha: "And Esav took his wives, and his sons, and his daughters, and all the souls of his household, and his cattle, and all his beasts, and all his possessions, which he had gathered in the land of Canaan, and he went into a land away from his brother Yaakov" (36:6).
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