I. The Repair of Yaakov's Family
"The Story of Families" might be an appropriate title for the book of Bereishit. Throughout the book, we encounter different families with all their complexities; hatred, jealousy, and competition are present in almost every story. But if we look at the family stories from a broad perspective, we will see that there is a positive development from the beginning of the book to its end.
In the first family, the most terrible thing happens – Kayin murders his brother Hevel. In the second family,[1] that of Avraham, an event takes place that cannot be called simple – the choosing of one brother, Yitzchak, at the expense of the other brother, Yishmael, who is exiled to the wilderness.
Next, in the family of Yitzchak, the situation is very complex, and we witness tremendous tension between the brothers, Yaakov and Esav. This tension almost recreates the story of Kayin and Hevel, when Esav plans to murder Yaakov (27:41). As a result, Yaakov is (temporarily) exiled from his home, recalling what happened to Yishmael in the previous generation. After a journey and process of growth, Yaakov succeeds in returning and creating a new connection with Esav. A moment of rare idyll between the brothers occurs when they both arrive to bury their father Yitzchak, together (35:29). There is clearly progress in this family, but it too falls apart at the end, when Esav decides to leave the land because of his brother and settle in Mount Seir (36:6).
Only the last family, that of Yaakov and his sons, ultimately manages to present a united and cohesive family at the end of the book. While in the previous families one child was always rejected, all of Yaakov's children continue his path and establish together the nation of Israel.
This does not mean that this family is without complexity – quite the opposite. It is a family that seems to be rehashing the earlier stories. The brothers almost kill Yosef, similar to the story of Kayin and Hevel. In the end, they settle for "only" banishing him, similar to the story with Yishmael. Interestingly, the brothers sell Yosef to the Yishmaelites, as if to recreate the earlier expulsion of Yishmael from the family of Avraham (37:28).
However, despite the near repetition of the same difficulties, the story ends well. At the end of the book, all the brothers live together in Egypt and continue the path of their father.
It behooves us to try to fathom the secret of Yaakov's family. How did it manage, in contrast to the previous families and despite its own crises, to preserve cohesion? How did the family overcome the jealousy and hatred that overwhelmed it at the beginning of its journey?
We might think of Yaakov's family as having three central pillars: Yaakov, Yosef, and the brothers. Each of them contributed something towards overcoming difficulties and achieving a resolution in which their family's cohesion would be maintained. In this shiur, we will try to understand the brothers' role in that process.[2]
II. Guilt
Among all the players in Yaakov's family, Yosef's brothers committed the most serious sins. The brothers are the ones who threw Yosef into a pit, sold him into slavery, and caused their father terrible grief. Without the Divine intervention that brought about their reunification, the family would have ended in disintegration, like its predecessors.
But it seems that as the years pass, something happens to the brothers: heavy guilt develops among them due to their actions towards Yosef. This is already evident in the first conversation between them and Yosef in Egypt, when he accuses them of spying:
And he said to them: No, but to see the nakedness of the land you have come. And they said: We your servants are twelve brothers, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and behold, the youngest is with our father this day, and the one is not. (Bereishit 42:12-13)
The dialogue between them is unclear – Yosef accuses them of espionage, while they tell him that originally, they were twelve brothers; the youngest remains with their father and the second has disappeared. There is no clear connection between the accusation and the answer. If anything, it only arouses more suspicions!
It seems that even in this brief dialogue, we can see that something is "sitting" on the brothers. As soon as Yosef begins to apply the slightest pressure, they open up and reveal the pain in their hearts – that one of their brothers "is not." Although this information is not relevant here, it bursts out of them regardless, as soon as they are addressed for the purpose of understanding their identity. The loss and absence of Yosef has become part of them.
Later, when Yosef releases them from their three days in prison, their sense of guilt over the sale of Yosef becomes explicit:
And they said to one another: But we are guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the distress of his soul when he entreated us, and we would not hear; therefore this distress has come upon us. (42:21)
Even though many years have passed, as soon as a calamity befalls them, they are immediately reminded of their guilt in the sale of Yosef. It is clear to them that this calamity is a punishment for their sin. The guilt has been lurking there all along, just waiting to come out. The brothers also tell us a new detail here – that Yosef pleaded with them from the pit, and they ignored his pleas. Yosef's heart-rending cries continued to haunt them throughout the years. Now, the memory overwhelms them, as they themselves are caught in a similar predicament.
Guilt is the basis for repair. Only when feelings of guilt arise in the sinner can we begin to speak of forgiveness and atonement. At this point, we begin to see that the brothers are on the right track. They feel guilt; they are already in a different place from where they were then, at the time of the sin.
But guilt alone is not enough. The big question is what to do with these feelings of guilt and where to channel them. It seems that regarding this question, it is possible to discern different trends among the brothers.
Two figures stand out among the brothers throughout the story – Reuven and Yehuda. If we follow them, we will see two different directions for channeling guilty feelings, which lead to different places in the family's work of repair.
III. Reuven's Guilt
Reuven begins the story in the best position among the brothers – he is the first to show a sense of compassion and responsibility towards Yosef, and he is the one who dissuades the others from killing him. Reuven convinces his brothers to throw Yosef into a pit instead, as part of a plan to save him later (37:21-22).
Surprisingly, at this point Reuven suddenly disappears from the scene. And at that very moment, the brothers, on the advice of Yehuda, decide to take Yosef out of the pit and sell him to the Yishmaelites (37:25).
Reuven reappears only after the sale, when he discovers to his astonishment that Yosef is no longer in the pit:
And Reuven returned to the pit; and behold, Yosef was not in the pit; and he tore his clothes. (37:29)
Reuven's behavior seems puzzling – how could it be that at the most critical moment, he disappears?! If he planned to save Yosef, we would have expected that he would stay by his side and not take his eyes off him!
Rashi sensed this difficulty and offered a midrashic interpretation:
"And Reuven returned" – But he was not there when [Yosef] was sold… He was occupied with his sackcloth and fasting, for having disturbed his father's bed. (Rashi, ad loc.)
This interpretation seems far from the plain meaning of the text, but it may succeed in touching the depth of Reuven's personality. He does feel guilty, and this leads him to a feeling of pain and suffering that actually impairs his ability to make a real correction. He is so overwhelmed by the pain of his sin with Bilha that he misses the most important moment and is not there to prevent the sale of Yosef.
Reuven's painful but futile preoccupation with guilt is further illustrated in his conduct upon discovering that Yosef is not in the pit. Reuven tears his clothes and cries out to his brothers:
The boy is not; and as for me, where shall I go? (37:30)
It is reasonable to assume that it was a short time, at most a few days after the sale. Instead of tearing his clothes and mourning, it would have made more sense for him to investigate his brothers thoroughly, to understand what happened to Yosef and to hurry to look for him.[3] With a little effort, he might have caught up with the Yishmaelites as they advanced towards Egypt.
However, it seems that more than trying to rectify the situation, Reuven is engrossed in guilt and self-flagellation. His cry is directed to empty air, and he fails to create any useful communication with his brothers.
In the next verse, Reuven quickly turns to the task of covering up the incident, rather than saving Yosef, seemingly becoming a partner to his brothers in the deception of their father. Even in his own outcry, he is primarily concerned with himself, not with the fate of Yosef – "The boy is not; and as for me, where shall I go?" Reuven is focused on his own discomfort vis-a-vis himself or his father, rather than on the urgent need to take care of Yosef.
This is the result of a flood of guilty feelings – they are liable to turn into an end in themselves rather than a means to repair.
We encounter Reuven's guilt again in our parasha. As mentioned above, when the brothers are imprisoned in Egypt, they remember their guilt for selling Yosef and see the current crisis as their punishment. Reuven hears the discussion and responds:
And Reuven answered them, saying: Did I not say to you, saying: "Do not sin against the child," and you would not hear? Therefore, also, behold, [a reckoning for] his blood is demanded. (42:22)
Reuven tries to shake off the guilt and to remove himself from his brothers – you are indeed guilty, but I am innocent. Again, Reuven is concerned only with himself and with trying to assuage his conscience – but his attempt to absolve himself of any blame seems baseless in light of his "disappearance" at the critical moment of Yosef's sale.
It seems that Reuven is acting here in accordance with the well-known rule that "the hat burns on the head of the thief"; when he jumps up and declares that he is not guilty, it is clear that deep down, he feels heavy guilt. He is the eldest brother, and it was his responsibility to dissuade his brothers from the act and to actually take care of Yosef.
After their return from Egypt to the Land of Israel, the brothers tell their father that in order to return and acquire more food from Egypt, they will have to take Binyamin. When Yaakov refuses, Reuven approaches him with a strange proposal:
And Reuven spoke to his father, saying: You shall slay my two sons, if I bring him not to you; deliver him to my hand, and I will bring him back to you. (42:37)
Yaakov does not even bother to address Reuven's illogical suggestion and continues to state categorically that Binyamin will not go down with them[4] (42:38). Of course, we have to ask: What was going through Reuven's mind when he suggested that he would kill his sons in exchange for Binyamin?! Moreover, even if we were to follow his perverse logic, one son would be sufficient!
It would seem that once again, we hear an echo of the guilt that torments Reuven. If he does not bring Binyamin back, he seeks punishment in the form of the loss of his two sons – one for Binyamin, and one for Yosef, whom he failed to save. Once again, we encounter Reuven's useless guilt.
This guilt is so extreme as to be masochistic – creating a desire for punishment in order to cleanse the painful guilt. Reuven does not come up with any productive action, but only wallows in guilt and a desire to harm himself (and his sons). His guilt is preoccupied with self-torture rather than with rectification. He wants to feel some of the pain that Yaakov is experiencing in his mourning for Yosef. Rather than trying to think about how to heal the family, his solution is that he too should feel grief for his sons.
IV. Yehuda's Guilt
Yehuda stands out among the brothers throughout the story. He is the one who convinces them to sell Yosef to the Yishmaelites rather than letting him die in the pit (37:26). At this stage, it seems that Yehuda is in a lower place than Reuven, who wanted to save Yosef completely. However, Yehuda possesses leadership qualities that Reuven lacks: while the latter fails in his rescue plan, Yehuda moves the brothers to follow him.
Despite Yehuda's problematic beginning, it is evident that he undergoes a significant change over the course of the story, a change related to his experiences with Tamar. That story (in chapter 38) breaks suddenly into the middle of the story of Yosef and his brothers, seemingly disconnected and disruptive to the flow of the plot. However, the story does not appear here by chance. It shows us a profound turn in Yehuda's personality, which will have a decisive impact on the broader narrative.
This is not the place to analyze the story of Yehuda and Tamar, but it is clear that the central drama in it is Yehuda's ability to feel guilt over what he did to Tamar, to admit his mistake, and to take responsibility. He dares to stand up to everyone and declare about Tamar: "She is more righteous than I" (38:26). This ability allows Yehuda to take action to rectify the situation: his guilt leads him to confess his actions, to release Tamar from punishment, and to take responsibility for the children born to her.
The factor that triggers the change in Yehuda is the eiravon, the pledge, which he gave to Tamar and which she produces at the moment of truth. And the eiravon continues to accompany Yehuda even when we return to the story of Yosef.
As mentioned, when the brothers must take Binyamin with them in order to return to Egypt, Yaakov refuses vehemently, which leaves them in danger of starvation. Reuven and the others try to convince their father to relent, but to no avail (42:36- 43:7). The one who eventually succeeds is Yehuda, who makes himself an areiv, a guarantor, for Binyamin's safety:
I will guarantee him (e'ervenu); demand him from my hand. If I do not bring him to you, and set him before you, then I will have sinned to you forever. (43:9)
There is no concrete promise behind the guarantee that Yehuda offers. He does not suggest any price in the event of a breach of the promise of keeping Binyamin safe. As may be recalled, Reuven offered his two sons in exchange, an unusual promise that made no impression on Yaakov.
It is precisely the guarantee of Yehuda, which has nothing behind it but words, that makes the difference (43:11). Yaakov recognizes Yehuda's guarantee as serious because it comes after his admission regarding the pledge to Tamar. There, Yehuda earned recognition that his word has value and that he takes responsibility for his actions. In the hands of such a person, Yaakov feels at ease entrusting Binyamin.
And indeed, Yehuda stands by his word and fulfills his guarantee. When Yosef wants to keep Binyamin in Egypt with him, Yehuda offers to become a slave in Binyamin's place. He explains this request to Yosef by mentioning his guarantee to Yaakov:
For your servant guaranteed the lad to my father, saying: If I do not bring him to you, then I will have sinned to my father forever. Now therefore, [let] your servant abide as a servant to my lord, I pray you, instead of the lad; and [let] the lad go up with his brothers. For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad not be with me? Lest I look upon the evil that shall find my father. (44:32-34)
Yehuda is willing to follow through and become a slave for the rest of his life, just to fulfill the guarantee he promised Yaakov. Here we witness Yehuda's great repair – he is the one who caused Yosef to be sold into slavery in Egypt, and he is the one who is now ready to become a slave himself. This is not just a sense of guilt leading to pointless pain, but a real repair; his slavery will bring Binyamin back and prevent that additional heartbreak for Yaakov. Yehuda is again at the same point he was then, years ago, before Yosef was sold. He can care for himself or for his father. He chooses his father and thus tries to make amends and atone in some way for that sin.[5]
Yehuda's speech before Yosef constitutes the climax of the story and leads it to its happy ending – in which, for the first time, a family in the book of Bereishit remains united. Unlike the previous stories, only here does the offending party, who rejected his brother, go through a process of growth, take responsibility, and act to rectify the situation, thus keeping the family whole.
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Yosef seems more talented than Yehuda. He always charms those around him and manages to lead and guide wherever he goes – in Potiphar's house, in prison, and finally in all of Egypt. Yehuda does lead the brothers, but he seems less impressive than Yosef. However, we know that ultimately, the kingship would come from Yehuda. The Bible is trying to teach us that mythical leadership does not come from personal charm or extraordinary abilities. Rather, the ability to feel guilt, to admit mistakes, and to correct them, is the ability required of a leader.
(Translated by David Strauss; edited by Sarah Rudolph)
[1] To be precise, the second family is that of Noach and his sons. There, too, we witness tension, in the incident of Cham's exposure of Noach's nakedness, which leads to his being cursed by his father (9:15-27). However, this story seems to be a localized affair and does not reflect a broader tension such as we see in the other families in the book.
[2] We already addressed Yosef's contribution in our study of Parashat Vayeshev, and we will discuss Yaakov's share in the shiur on Parashat Vayechi.
[3] Perhaps this reaction by Reuven inspired the idea that Reuven had been engaged in mourning over his sin with Bilha. We see here a pattern of mourning over the past rather than rectifying the present.
[4] Rashi has well explained the inanity of Reuven's words, from Yaakov's perspective: "He did not accept Reuven's offer. He said: What a fool is this oldest son of mine! He suggests that I should kill his sons. Are they only his, and not mine also?"
[5] Yehuda's name also hints at his essence – Yehuda is capable of admitting (le-hodot) his sin and of confessing (le-hitvadot) his guilt.
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